What would RTH do?

That is the question.

If I were in a highschool yearbook, they would vote me most likely to die of a lynch mob. That does not prevent me from opening my mouth and serving a warm hearty cup of STFU to people who deserve it. My dark scathing humor will leave no matter of existence untouched. My innocence will touch your soul.

Welcome to a warped world turned inside out and upside down. All sorts of discretion advised.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

The truth about homosexuality

This Saturday we had a flyer stuck into our mailbox. It was quite a promising looking piece of paper. Some kind hearted church group was generous enough to spend hard earned money to print thousands of these little papers so that we all should know the truth. It was very hot that day too. They must have walked down the street with such determination to pass on God's message.

I was thrilled and ecstatic. It's not everyday you hear from God. See God does not talk to unimportant people. Thats why we unimportant people are unaware of God's wishes. So we need kind hearted church groups to pass on the message.

My sister was the one who picked it first, so she sat down to read first. I was appalled to see her start ripping it apart. Such disrespect for a message from God. Then she explained that the paper must have been exposed to the rain Thursday night. The glue had spread all over sealing it shut and impossible to open without ripping it to shreds.

Convinced that a second set of hands with more conviction would do the trick, I took it in my own hands. Jesus Fucking Christ, it wouldn't open. It was really frustrating. Like having a whore, who would not spread her legs even though you paid the full price. Such disappointing behavior for a message from God.

That evening when I took my dog for a walk she found a piece of paper in a pile of lawn clippings. When I said drop it, she spat it out right away as if she just had molten plastic and poop souffle in her mouth. Even that half crushed pine cone seemed to have been more exciting. If you know my dog, you know that she does not spit things back out that easy.

My joy knew no bounds. It was an actual dry readable copy of God's message. The truth about homosexuality. However, I was very disappointed when I finally read it. So many untruths and lies. And I'm not just talking about the fact that gays will burn in hell, and homosexuality is a beastly filthy habit, because these things are a scientifically proven fact. The same guy who proved the existance of God, heaven and hell proved these. I would not question such a wise man. What bothers me is the lies about our founding fathers, the constitution, the laws of the land. I just studied American government and politics and could not take the lies.

Then I thought to myself......

The heavens unleashed rain on these flyers to make them unreadable.

The only readable copy I could find was discarded with a pile of lawn clippings and almost chewed by a dog.

Even the dog spat it out, and I trust their instints.

I think the heavens are trying to tell me something. This is not a message from God, but a bunch of lies. God saved my neighborhood from the lies, but God is busy....so you may have to save yourself.

The next time someone sends you a flyer claiming to tell you the truth about homoexuality. Letting you know why the recent surge to grant equitable marriage rights to all is absolutely, totally wrong. They will claim to be passing on God's message.......but is it really what God wants us to hear.

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