What would RTH do?

That is the question.

If I were in a highschool yearbook, they would vote me most likely to die of a lynch mob. That does not prevent me from opening my mouth and serving a warm hearty cup of STFU to people who deserve it. My dark scathing humor will leave no matter of existence untouched. My innocence will touch your soul.

Welcome to a warped world turned inside out and upside down. All sorts of discretion advised.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

A Good Day

People do the strangest things. This morning, I got on the beltline and was as usual racing away to work. Yes, I was speeding and thats my bad, but who doesn't. Besides, 60 mph in a 55 zone is not that bad. Well as it happens, I was behind this car who was kind of going slow with enough room to run a barge between her and the car ahead. I followed with ants in my pants, anxious about the barge. It is improper to overtake from the right and I never do so, unless absolutely necesscary. Drive time traffic is polite and people move out if they are blocking traffic.

Finally she signalled changing lanes. Relieved, I hit the gas a bit eager to run the barge. All of a sudden the bitch hits her brakes with her car half in one lane half in another with no freaking reason to do so. There was no car merging ahead of her. I was like what the fuck and tapped my brakes. When she finally decided to shift lanes, I overtook her curiously glancing to the right to see if some senile geriatric was driving the car. It's some young chick, glaring at me. I can't hear her but her lips said "You better watch out".

"What the fuck bitch!". You may think I was tailgating, but had I been there was no way I could have avoided hitting her. I mean she slammed the brakes right in the middle of a lane change. I did not even slam, I was able to tap and slow down with enough distance to spare. I'm still baffled on what she was trying to prove. I mean even if someone is tailgating you, slamming the brakes in the midst of a lane shift is pure shitty driving. You can slam your brakes in your lane, flick them off, but you don't slam the brakes in the middle of a lane change. You now risk two lanes being blocked due to your stupidity. Normally, I have immense amounts of road rage, which is spent swearing under my breath my whole drive. Today, I was just confuzzled on what people think.

I hope she swerves of into the median and totals her car, and I can drive by and watch. Haha. No I would not wish harm on anyone, just the sheer and utter destruction of the car.

Now for the late evening dish. I am talking my dog for a walk. We have walked half an hour, she has done her business long back. I cleaned up and tossed it in the garbage already. In the final ten minute leg, Aria stops to pee. Now she is a female, so she does not lift her leg. She squats. Kind of looks like she is pooping, but the back is straight in a pee squat, it arches in a poop squat. Also unlike male dogs, female dogs do not mark scents everywhere, they kind of do it all at once. So she is squatting for a while.

When she is done we continue walking. Now there was this geriatric standing in a balcony with his walker watching us. As I start walking he mumbles something which sounds like "Are you going to pick that up?". I'm not sure exactly, I'm kind of deaf...so I keep walking. He raises his voice "Are you going to pick that up?". I'm like "Sir, she peed, she did not poop".

Although, in general I must say it was a good day. I took a field trip at work and travelled to see the greenhouse and fields. Saw what how plants are seeded and transplanted. Watched Prairie Smoke being hand harvested and got treated to a free meal. To top it off no calls from crazy plant ladies either.

Even if you run into bitches, it always evens out to a good day.

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