What would RTH do?

That is the question.

If I were in a highschool yearbook, they would vote me most likely to die of a lynch mob. That does not prevent me from opening my mouth and serving a warm hearty cup of STFU to people who deserve it. My dark scathing humor will leave no matter of existence untouched. My innocence will touch your soul.

Welcome to a warped world turned inside out and upside down. All sorts of discretion advised.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Sarc attack

Ah the internet, such a wonderful and beautiful thing. What would our world be without the wonderful worldwide web that ensnares and entangles the whole world together. One of the best things about the internet is anonymity. While we are people, we really are not people - we are merely electric signals, data traveling on the information superhighway, illuminated electrons on the screen. This anonymity and aura of masks and unknown identities lets us judge, make assumptions and make some very broad generalizations about morality and character.

Sarcasm is another beautiful thing. In the world of rhetoric, there is nothing that can achieve the lofty grounds of sarcasm. A bit of scathing sarcasm with a hint of disdain can pierce through hide, flesh and bone better than the sharpest powerful weapons known to man. I can testify to it, sarcasm is a rhetorical weapon I have much often used as my refuge. It is not the best or polite thing to do, sometimes it really is not nice - but sometimes sarcasm is an extremely effective tool that gets the point across.

Anyway I wanted to share a brilliant piece of sarcasm and more today. It is brilliant because it combines sarcasm with the beauty of internet and "electronic judgment". Actually even more brilliant because its directed against me (and some others). I made an argument proposing the legalization of prostitution on a forum. Yes it is a controversial stance and I'm prepared to bear the brunt of criticism and consequences. In fact I'd be taken aback if there was not a lynch mob waiting to stone me for such sacrilege. And I think I've run fairly close to what I feel is an "electronic lynch mob" with "electronic stones" pounding out my screen.

Here we go

Year: 2012
Month: December
Location: Divided Forums of Debate Mansion (DFDM) headquarters, Virtual World

Act 1, Scene1

President Shades is talking animatedly on the phone behind closed doors in her plush, masterfully designed, oval office overlooking the world famous fuzzy-logic museum located on the same block as the dreaded Nike sweatshops. 

Vice-president Zouro barges in.

President Shades, with an impatient wave of her hand, motions him to be seated in the comfort-filled executive leather high back chair with swivel tilt adjustments while she is wrapping up the phone call. For some strange reason, there is extreme disturbance in the air waves so Shades is practically shouting at this point.

"Oh puhlease. Spare me the moral frown down. I don't give a crap to what you think. I am the president and what I say goes around here. Destroy all the eggs immediately. I repeat, destroy all the eggs immediately. Why?! What do you mean why?! I don't need to tell a dang thing to your mask face, that's why. What? You insist?! The hell you do! Alright, then! Here goes. They cause periods and babies, dummy! Is that really hard to understand?! What? You say I myself was a baby too sometime back?! Listen, dunderhead! If I don't like caviar, does it mean I am going to destroy the fish? No, right?! What? What did you say? Me hating the eggs is not the same as me hating caviar? The equivalent would in fact be a fish hating the caviar? I can't hear you. Speak up. I said speak up and talk loudly. The real equivalent would be a fish hating the caviar because the caviar (sic) causes periods and babies in fish?! You know nothing, dunce! Now do what I say. End of this discussion!!!"

Slams the phone down and looks at the vice president with a deep frown on her face.


Zouro: "I just came here to tell you that I really like you"

Shades < with much softer facial expressions>: "Awww! I like you too."

Zouro: "I like the way you talk. I like the way you write"

Shades: "I like the way you argue. I like the way you write"

Zouro: "Please complete this sentence for me. You like me because __________?"

Shades: "You argue well. Now, please complete this sentence for me. You like me because ________?"

Zouro: "You write well"

Couple of seconds go by. Awkward silence all around.

Shades, breaking the silence…"What of this fool, Mister.K?! He is threatening to publish a bunch of articles in his online syndicated column, on the plights of sex workers and exploited children working day and night in your sweatshops."

Zouro: "Well, I heard some of that too. Why don't we just dub his operations as 'Silly' and close down his syndicated column? Haven't we done that in the past? Didn't we pass an ordinance to that effect? That whatever is not up to our standards and whatever we deem is not silly is what is officially pronounced and treated as viable? Everything else is silly"

Shades: "I am afraid we can't do that. The masses seem to like him"

with a menacing look, completely antagonized by now> "I remember I told that fool to mind his damn business the last time he tried to meddle in my private affairs. See, how I conduct my business in my sweatshop is my prerogative, not his. If I want to employ underage children and make them work 12 hours a day with minimum wages and no health benefits, by Jove, I will do it. How am I wrong? Matter of fact, those children should be kissing the ground I walk on. They should appreciate that I am a generous guy who is resplendently considerate and empathetic. I am doing them all a huge favor and this is the thanks I get? Without my sweatshop, they wouldn't even have a job. What do they know about supply and demand? They hardly attended kindergarten…"

 Shades: "Hey, hey, hey!!! Calm down please. Be that as it may, my concern has more to do with how he is going to portray the so-called plights of these sex workers. Looks like he has gathered some stats on how millions of despondent children and women are being forced into prostitution all over the world. Looks like he has garnered key figures on how these wretched people are abused, beaten, raped, maimed, physically and psychologically battered, left to die on the streets with sexually transmitted diseases, and in some instances murdered brutally. He is saying this is all WRONG. I don't get it. He is hopping mad. He says women's bodies are not commodities like pork and beef. He is denouncing the whole service sector analogy of yours in the strongest possible terms. He asks what next, if we are going to brand women (sic) with AGMARK seals. He asks if we are going to establish a consumer complaint center like the Better Business Bureau so the Johns of this world could dial in and vent. He is saying we have no sense of right and wrong. He is going on and on. He is a madcap, I tell you."

Zouro <nonchalantly, with zero emotion>: "I fail to understand what all the hoopla is about. It's just sex between two consenting adults"

Shades: "I agree! You are telling me!!! But who will tell that fool, K, to see it our way? He is asking some very inconvenient questions. He is essentially saying that if people go by our rationale, even sex between 'consenting' siblings wouldn't not be considered immoral. Dowry wouldn't be considered illegal because, it's between 'consenting' parties"

Zouro: "I don't see anything wrong with any of that. As long as the transaction is transparent and the deal is between 'consenting'..."

Shades (cutting in): "I know. I know. Consenting adults. But what if STDs erupt and go out of control?"

Zouro: "Helllllllllllloooooooooooo!!!! Ever heard of condoms?"

Shades: "Well, looks like that didn't help and is not helping because people are still dying of AIDS and other fatal infections contracted sexually. Tell me one thing. What if babies are born to these sex workers with birth defects? Wait! Wait! I know what to do. We will just kill them. I am an overt proponent of that. You can find my award winning thesis on this subject somewhere in the annals. Aren't you an expert at digging out the record books and finding the appropriate files?"

Zouro: "That I am, but how about this? We could employ those people, born with birth defects as a result of unprotected sex with multiple partners, in my sweatshop as soon as they grow up a little. I think we could wait till they turn 5 or 6. There is a demand for good shoes you know"

Shades: "Of course!!! You are such a generous man! I like the way you think"

Zouro: "I like the way you think too"

Shades: ""Please complete this sentence for me. You like me because __________?"


Before the vice president could complete his sentence, the Mayan prediction came true.

End of the friggin' world.

If it is not evident I'm Shades in this creative saga. I'm not sure what it stands for S(tupid)hades or s(lut)hades or s(ick)hades. I'm going to take it as S(uper)hades or S(pecial)hades. Zouro is another male member of the forum. Most sarcasm merely mocks your intelligence. It takes some ridiculous statement you made and calls you out on it so that you want to crawl under a rock. But the brilliancy of this piece that compels me to share it is that it goes above and beyond your everyday sarcasm. It does not stop at merely pointing out the fact that I have "fuzzy logic" or have the inability to make a point.

I think it is brilliant how a Midwestern hick, bleeding heart hippie liberal ends up with a plush fancy office in the same vicinity as the Nike sweatshop. Forget crawling under a rock, I'm perturbed if I should stop idealizing Blake Mycoskie as an entrepreneur all business aspirants should look up to for inspiration. I'm now all messed up and confused if I'm a bleeding heart liberal (commie bloody commie) or a ruthless capitalist king pin.

Well my confusion does not end at economics. I'm portrayed as fawning over my male vice president, you know softening up my expressions for him, talking sweet nothings of how we are so totally in awe with each other. I've been literally scratching my head going nuts trying to figure when exactly I portrayed such fawning and affection towards my vice-president this time. In fact we actually were at each others throats in some debates of the past. Is this some fucked up 1984 like situation - love is war type of thing. Or am I just sending the wrong kind of signals - cause this cross connection could be a really big problem.

But it gets better and better. Apparently I am evil sadistic scum who thinks it is alright to abuse, beat, rape, maim, psychologically and physically batter or even brutally murder women and children. I supposedly consider women as commodities and will be all for tattooing them with some brand names just like the Nazis did to the Jews in concentration camp. Ain't this whole internet thing grand. You can just brand someone you don't even know as sadistic, criminal, sexually abusive, Neo Nazi scum for having a different opinion. I really like this kind of magical powers, but seriously its making things really complicated. So now I am not supposed to cry or shed tears over disturbing episodes or think of womens rights, protecting innocent children, literally having my gut wrenched for the trafficked humans, sex slaves and abused immigrants. I'm not allowed to be soft like that anymore, I'm supposed to be getting off on it.

All this confusion and change is way too much for me to handle. I can't change myself so drastically just because I support a controversial viewpoint. How am I to change my soul to a black abyss for fulfilling the end of world prophecy? This is so hard to take. Anyway, I should not be letting some "electronic stones" bother me so much.

Although, I have to add just in case

Dear Mariska,

I am a huge fan of Law & Order: SVU. Your show has changed me. It has opened my eyes to a scary terrifying world, my naive eyes never knew. I've learned empathy for victims of some of the worlds most heinous crimes and their families. I've learned that the law is not black and white, but with many shades of gray and sometimes we need to go above or below the law for justice. SVU has inspired me to genuinely think beyond myself in terms of sex crimes.

I'm not sure what your stance on legalizing prostitution is. You could be for or against it. No I am not for prostitution. However based on research and putting together facts, I am in favor of legalizing it. I feel legalizing it is the lesser of the two evils in our world. Hopefully, this controversial opinion will not cause you to think less of me, lest we happen to meet someday. When I am successful enough I would like to donate time and money to your Joyful Heart Foundation. I also plan to work for Human Rights Campaign as an advocate someday. In fact I have made a pack with the powers that be, If I ever win a lottery of a million dollars or more, or start making that amount an annual salary only 25% will be mine. 25% is for our animal friends and mother nature who cannot speak for themselves. 25% will be donated for children's charities around the world and the remaining 25% is for HRC and organizations such as yours - for victims of hate crimes and abuse. Inshallah, I might get there someday.

PS: You may cuff me and slam me to the slammer anytime. I don't mind you punishing me for any of my opinions.

Alright now that business is taken care of I would like to share just a few more sarc and misc attack gems for entertainment purposes.

One doesn't need proficiency to use Google to look for stats. One only needs rudimentary skills in keying in the right search words and get instantaneous access to tons of information; information that is staggering and heart wrenching at the same time.   Of course, the scum would deliberately ignore the reality, as they have repeatedly done in the past.

To those interested: http://www.dreamcenter.org/new/images/outreach/RescueProject/stats.pdf

Out of the estimated 4 - 27 million people who are trafficked, 1 million are children exploited by the global commercial sex trade.

Allow me to put the rest of the trafficked "adults" on hold for the time being and focus on the children.

1 million children!!!! Somebody's young son, somebody's young daughter, somebody's little brother, somebody's little sister, taken to strange lands, given strange food, getting poked by strangers multiple times a day, crying themselves to sleep everyday, day after day, thinking about "back home", thinking about their parents, their siblings and their friends. Imagine just for a moment, just for a teeny tiny slice of your time, what they go through. Imagine what their loved ones go through.

Question (because we are still "debating") is do these children come under the "consenting adults" category? Question (because we are still "debating") is does this pass the litmus test of morality?

When these children grow up and become "full-time" sex workers, because their fate is sealed, hope turned bleak and they continue doing what they are doing, uneducated, not having instilled with the right values, not having access to any knowledge-base to distinguish right from wrong, resigned to their circumstances, still under the control of the organized crime ruling them with an iron hand, would they then come under the "consenting adults" category?

How prudent is it to draw a circle with a radius close to zero around an event and look at that event with a myopic vision and pass judgment? What behooves the responsible citizens? Look at the crime trail leading all the way to the red light districts and beyond or go to the red light districts, pay the pimp, have sex with the prostitute who didn't make a peep and accept it as consent?
Hmm, I never knew I proposed legalizing human trafficking and child pornography/prostitution.  In fact in one argument I clearly proposed reallocating vice resources to focus on sex crimes against minors.

The problem decent, conscientious human beings face when conversing with or attempting to converse with, criminals, crooks, felons, thieves, debauchers and their ilk is that the decent, conscientious human beings will automatically be christened as moral police by the criminals, crooks, felons, thieves, debauchers and their ilk, in a misguided attempt at slinging mud.

Fair enough. If they are aiding, abetting, indulging in activities that would be met with disapproval from the law and/or by their own people, dabbling in behavior that gets them closer and closer to the law and/or breaks their carefully constructed social image, when they realize that eventually they will get their comeuppance, everyone looks like a cop to them. What they don't realize is that being called a cop or being hailed as the moral police is not necessarily a bad thing. It is not something to be ashamed about. On the other hand, one would think, to be a person with no scruples, to be devoid of morals is something to be thoroughly embarrassed about. To be a hair's breadth away from messing up big time because they are being "guided" by their own of set of erroneous morals and not by the trifled moral police should worry them to no end.

Explaining the concept of morals to immoral people is like explaining the concept of color to a blind person. You could put it in a million words, read the definitions out loud, give examples but none of that will make any sense to them. They just don't know what it is "like" to have morals.

Here's the thing: if you have the capacity to reason, you would know what is moral and what is not. You would know what is just and what is not. If you don't know how to reason, at least rely on what the previous philosophers opined on this matter. Follow their reasoning methods to understand why prostitution is a social evil, why it is demeaning to women, and how it encourages slave trading.

Coming to legalization, the notions of morality and law are extremely tightly coupled. Don't scoff at morals and dismiss them with a hand wave foolishly. The law is supposed to reflect the basic principles of conduct (read morals) the society has accepted. So, if a society comprises of 200 people out of who 100 are clients and 100 are willing prostitutes, they could technically legalize prostitution. Heck, they could do anything they want, who cares?! But when it comes to countries it's a different ball game altogether. People can bitch and moan all they want but it's the stance of the government that matters.

I am personally glad that in US (except in Sin City), buying and selling of sexual "services" is still illegal and hope it remains that way. I am glad that the principles of conduct at the larger scale in this country are still not contaminated.

As for India, it looks like organized prostitution is still illegal which is a saving in disgrace. Looks like they tried to amend the Immoral Traffic Prevention Act   (emphasis on Immoral) in an attempt to criminalize the clients (Johns) but failed to do so. Hopefully they will succeed the next time they try to amend it. Hopefully they will do what Sweden is doing to the clients and the pimps.
Uff me and people on my side of the debate are criminals, crooks, felons, thieves, debauchers, indecent human beings with no morals. Isn't it so totally classy and conscientious to creatively typecast people you have never even met?

Hell of a time you picked to grow some balls son. Just when I have all the time in the universe to dedicate myself to this thread to thwart and destroy garbage. Human garbage that is.

I have seen better looking turds floating in my toilet bowl than the crap you post on this board, time and again. I chose to ignore your crap only because it's just harmless crap. But now this has gone too far. These threads could leave indelible impressions on young minds and I can't let scum corrupt young minds. I draw  a line there.

So now the garbage has stooped to attacking friends and family directly? Why is that not surprising? Oh! Because they are garbage?!

See, in all your posts leading up to my first reply on this thread, you never mentioned trafficking. You never mentioned children. You only exhibited your astounding naivety by always bringing up consenting individuals. Me along with at least 3 or 4 more people on this thread debunked that myth. So now to face save, you are kinda, just kinda, condemning prostitution involving children. Too late. You have been exposed for who you are and what you are.

To answer the highlighted text in red, consider if you could get this logic. If you don't, please don't be afraid to ask questions. I will oblige you. See, in our world, prostitution wouldn't even exist because we completely abolish it. So no question of our kith or kin taking up that profession. On the other hand, in your world, prostitution is a thriving business aided and abetted by immoral people such as yourself. So, in that world, what Angie asked is a perfectly valid question. So I will repeat the question myself: Would you let your daughter or sister or mother get into this profession because you see nothing wrong as long as as a)they are willing and b) they are willing (yeah! I know. Same option repeated)
This one is not directed to me at the fellow Zouro from the beginning. But the crass references to toilet bowls and turd was a surefire classic. I mean Borat would be hard pressed to come up with crasser ways to refer and talk to people.

Ain't the internet a beautiful place?

No comments: