What would RTH do?

That is the question.

If I were in a highschool yearbook, they would vote me most likely to die of a lynch mob. That does not prevent me from opening my mouth and serving a warm hearty cup of STFU to people who deserve it. My dark scathing humor will leave no matter of existence untouched. My innocence will touch your soul.

Welcome to a warped world turned inside out and upside down. All sorts of discretion advised.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Change of Location

Considering all that has been going on the past three weeks, I should have expected that I would no longer be a free citizen in Wisconsin. While I remain in the same location as always, it appears that it is no longer the same. As our state representative Mark Pocan explained, the Imperial Walker has dictated a new name for our state "Fitzwalkerstan". (Note: The free is debatable, but I still like to believe I am free. The citizenship is certain, I have proof, its kosher and legal, but I might look illegal. I'm ok with deporting though, just try to get the country right you ignoramus maximus tea cups - I'm not a Paki or Mexican)

How did this happen?

People: Someone set up us the Walker Bomb
Union: Main street turn off
Walker: All your union base are belong to us
Walker: You have no chance to survive, retire or perish in time
People: For great justice
(and for great justice people shall fight)

Until then all your base, union or not belong to Imperial Walker of Fitzwalkerstan

I wonder if this is the only change of location I shall have. I'm not so sure about 'United States of America'. I mean 'United' just sounds so together, so collective, gosh darn it so "uniony". It is even scarier when you figure out that we are a 'federal' government. Wikipedia defines federalism as a group of members bound together by a covenant. Sounds much like a union contract to me.

My first guess was that we ought to be relocated to 'Confederate States of America'. Them tea parties really love their confederate flags. But hose dreams were dashed when I looked up confederation. Wikipedia defined confederation as - an association of sovereign member states that, by treaty, have delegated certain of their competences (or powers) to common institutions, in order to coordinate their policies in a number of areas, without constituting a new state on top of the member states. Under international law a confederation respects the sovereignty of its members and its constituting treaty can only be changed by unanimous agreement.

That kind of sounds even more terrifying. Not only is there this massive ugly union contract, but the union members literally destroy the company they work for their own interests. It does not stop there, it goes even further by binding the union members to something that cannot be changed without unanimous agreement. 

 Union thug with Union contracts: Sam Adams

I guess its going to be tough to bust this union of gosh so many decades. It all started when the greedy union thug Samuel Adams demanded all sorts of representations and concessions, without taxations. He said that the East India Company was rolling in record profits, and that King George III could part with some of his precious crown jewels for a change. He did so completely disrespecting the great institution of crown jewels, and all the people the crown had to loot to gain them. Moreover he is completely out of touch with the efforts the CEO's of the East India Company do to colonize countries and generate labor, literally saving countries across the world by offering their services. They deserve to bear fruit of their hard work.

So Samuel Adams resorted to blackmail and union thuggery. When the King refused him his Union break to sip tea, he turned violent and out of control and tossed all tea in the sea. 'Let them drink salty-tea' he said callously. The crown estimated 7.5 million in salty tea damages, which was an exaggeration the thugs lied.

Union Mob Boss: George Washington

You would think that they would stop after destroying the very sanctity of tea that served them, but over time a Union mob boss George Washington got really really greedy. He made his Union thugs make war with King George so that he could establish Union rule and become the First President and CEO of his unionized states. 

That is why Sarah Palin and her comrades (ouch) formed the tea-party to remind us of the union thuggery and how they made us drink salty tea. If we do not stand with these comrades in their quest to destroy evil unions, then we all will have to drink really bad chai tea lattes that are made with organic whole milk from grass fed free range cows. *shudder*

Rumor has it that that the tea parties have colluded for the greatest Union busting act for the century. As we speak David Cameroon and the Crown are proposing a bill that will essentially disband all Unions and restore the order of no representation and middle class taxation across the commonwealth. Soon the good kind hearted souls like Imperial Walker, Scott Fitzgerald, Glenn Beck, Mike Huckabee and all will be sipping tea served in fine china along with hot buttered scones and cucumber tea sandwiches - as a reward for their hard work. 

Oh what has this all done to me. Star wars shall never be the same. I can't ever drink Coke due to Koch. Every time I walker, the citizen ligaments and organs of my body feel betrayed. Its the worst when you can't even enjoy a nice hot cup of chai, because of the destruction of the name of 'tea'. 
I propose Anu Malik sing Garam Chai ki pyali at all tea party conventions.

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