What would RTH do?

That is the question.

If I were in a highschool yearbook, they would vote me most likely to die of a lynch mob. That does not prevent me from opening my mouth and serving a warm hearty cup of STFU to people who deserve it. My dark scathing humor will leave no matter of existence untouched. My innocence will touch your soul.

Welcome to a warped world turned inside out and upside down. All sorts of discretion advised.

Friday, March 25, 2011

When Hunger Strikes!

Or doesn't?

Or does it?

Does it not or does it?

Either way Ian's pizza is delicious. They have some of the most deliciously awesome and creative toppings out there. Who would have thought of Mac & Cheese pizza? Ian's did and its a huge hit. Personally, I'm a fan of their cheesy potato which has crispy potato wedges smothered in gooey cheese. They also do Thanksgiving Pizzas, Shepherd's Pie and Chicken Pot pies pizzas. That is just a lot of good tasty stuff, impossible for the stomach and taste buds to resist.

It made me wonder how fortunate were the protesters in Madison who received these delectable of pizza slices from around the world. Surely they must have been virtuous in their past lives to be blessed and loved like this. It was not just the pizzas though. There were kind folks offering hot soups on the blistery cold days. There were sandwiches, snacks and all sorts of goodies offered. If not the free offerings of food, people were feasting on the dishes served by downtown restaurants (that is the good ones, not evil Walker supporters). Why I myself chugged some hot mochas from Steep & Brew, and held onto the warm coffee cup for comfort.

And with warm fuzzy thoughts of coffee wrapping my soul, and cheesy pizza building think insulating layers on my arteries, I begin to ponder the complexities of my life and situation in Wisconsin again. The truth is that Wisconsin, nay Fitzwalkerstan is totally fucked up. Scott Walker has us in a vice grip all bent over and the Fitzwalkerstan GOP is one big enormous massive gargantuan dick that is screwing us big time. Whats bad is not the screwing of the middle class, but the hordes of masochists who actually like it and want more. And I thought the conservatives were against sodomy.

I mean honestly this dude Walker has absolutely no ethics or integrity. First he attacks to disband unions and claims its a fiscal measure, then he refuses to negotiate despite all the concessions offered, then when halted by the fabulous 14 he ramrods the bill through as a non fiscal measure in complete violation of state laws, then when the court issues an injunction he merely says "fuck you" to the legal systems in place and does his own thing. Apart from all this he discredits teachers, public workers, sucks up to the wealthy and now has his goons...I mean well dressed gentlemen harassing and bullying intellectual critics. This dude is making the most corrupt Somalian official seem like Mr. Honesty.

Its horrible really, very horrible, but in my own bizarre masochistic way its kind of a homey feeling. Honestly, every politician is an ass hole really and every now and then some massive dick shows up as well, its about time that peachy 'America is a great nation, destined for greatness' delusion came off and people realized that Americans are just as fucked and mortal as the rest of the world. Going by the tide of things and the middle class destroying brigade, I find myself nostalgically wondering if American will also have slums and chawls, and mazes of dirty potholed streets when I retire. I do hope I can afford one with the attached bathroom, I really don't like public bathrooms. I also wonder if private school students will earn the right to be snotty and make fun of the immigrants and rednecks in cheap public schools as vernies. I might have to have kids just to experience the joys of feeling delusionally superior to other kids because the governments don't give a shit about their education.

Anyway, when I've digressed and deviated a lot like a fast bowler spraying the ball everywhere but the stumps. I started with food, pizza, Ian's pizza to be precise and I ought to get back to food. Despite everything that is messed up I think, I've finally discovered what sets USA apart from the rest of the world as a great nation.

The difference lies in food, pizza. What sets America apart is Ian's pizza and all other such striking goodies.

See in India these people's movements and 'hartals' take a whole different meaning. To lay the groundwork we subcontinentals are a culture of Fast, Pray, Love - in that order. We love fasting. There is a fast or vrat for every occasion. If you want something real bad you sacrifice food or other things for it. In fact the I kept a maun vrat (silence oath) for the India Pakistan quarter finals in 1996. We desi kids are raised on a staple diet of Independence movement stories and how Gandhiji and Bhagat Singh and other honored heroes fasted for days to end against the British regime. (PS: Gandhi's Satyagraha also requires abstinence and all other goodness). And don't be fooled by modernization, the hunger strike is still forceful in India with even Rakhi Sawant threatening hunger strikes if the system infringes on any of her asset displaying or being Rakhi Sawant rights.

So basically had Fitzwalkerstan been India (and it cannot because no Indian politician is that dumb shizzle to say I will destroy Unions, cut education, or propose tax breaks to Tata/Birla for their hard work) that would have meant marching on hot dreary days - which means that we would all actually be sweaty smelly slobs. ( I wonder if the conservatives would call Gandhi a slob or other nasty hippie names, his whitey whites were white as ever, but he was not your rich black tie businessman. Would Dyer be Koch, though). There would most definitely be a lathi charge upon us. Then we would go on some sort of hunger strike to protest the violence. We would pick a busy traffic intersection named after Shivaji (Washington Square???) and squat there for days, squat there for days not eating a bite - being hungry.

So basically no matter what
- The system will attack you
- Politicians will act selfishly
- The common man will always suffer

But, you are in America now! You will never go hungry, especially not for your principles, your principles will feed you - and if you are ever really broke junk is cheap and plentiful and will insulate your arteries for winter.

In essence the difference between USA and the rest of the world is a slice of pizza. And someday when my kids complain that there are sixty students in the class - I'll tell them that in my high school there were 120 in a class and I learned the art of sleeping while standing in a B.E.S.T bus - because no one was willing to eat pizza for a cause. I wonder if they plan to introduce board exams as part of the budget? The post board suicide rate should help unemployment by reducing the number of students who actually live to be 'working age'.

I think if this bill actually goes into effect and the political tide of the nation does not change - I'm considering a hunger strike. It could be like my heathen fasting on steroids. I'm not sure how much determination I have, but I figure if I last a few days it would count as some sort of diets. If I actually end up dying of hunger - I blame it on the conservatives, especially the pro-lifers (because they don't want you to die in the womb, they want you to come out and die - so they can see you suffer). I know I'm going to hell and when I do I'm going to get all the best advocates down there to give these people hell. They can claim my death as a 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% drop in unemployment rate as someone takes my place.

After a bit of absurdity and sarcasm, I'll end on a more sombre note. The United States of America is truly a great nation with its focus on people and their freedom. We the people here are lucky to be able to protest, voice our opinion, and organize for our beliefs. We are lucky that we do not have to suffer or go to extremes for our causes. Throughout history and even today, people lose sacrifice their lives so that the common man can have this 'freedom'. However, the integrity and honesty of our system and society is under attack. Even an anti-union, fiscal conservative who supports austerity measures ought to be able to see that the government in Wisconsin is rapidly crossing the line into dangerous territory. We have to act now to fix things and restore the spirit and meaning of our freedom. Otherwise, maybe not our children or grandchildren - but somewhere down the line Americans might have to go to extremes or even lose their life for basic rights.

PS: Although if push comes to shove. I do advocate a good old fashioned desi bandhs. I recommend losing the socialist signs though. I fear the go green movement does not gel well here either. (Too bad India's preamble states its a sovereign, socialist, secular, democratic republic. USA is anti-socialist, anti-secular. Get your guns out tea-party. Palin is visiting a socialist republic).

No comments: