What would RTH do?

That is the question.

If I were in a highschool yearbook, they would vote me most likely to die of a lynch mob. That does not prevent me from opening my mouth and serving a warm hearty cup of STFU to people who deserve it. My dark scathing humor will leave no matter of existence untouched. My innocence will touch your soul.

Welcome to a warped world turned inside out and upside down. All sorts of discretion advised.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

An American Odyssey - Part Three

Part One
Part Two


God has blessed me very well. Often it makes me feel like I'm some sort of chosen one, very few people have this gift. I'm blessed with the gift of sleep, I have deep blissful slumber with beautiful vivid dreams. Most people complain about insomnia or being unable to sleep away from home. Thats not the case with me. I have a clean heart and an even cleaner and blank brain. Other people have complicated wiring that takes to long to shut down. My brain just goes poof, and I'm sleeping. I can sleep on command, I can sleep standing in a bus, I can sleep anywhere. I've even slept suspended between two seats on a bus with my butt on a stove. So needless to say I slept well.

I'm also blessed with a gift of time as well. Its an uncanny gift of time. I don't give importance to the monotony of school, work and other timely appointments that hinder with my life. Vacations, trips and fun events take precedence and I'm up bright and early in a flash. So just like the times I woke up at 5 AM because my friends though morning walks by the creek were fantastic fun, I triggered awake at bright and early throughout my vacation.


After being awake bright and ready, I just pondered around my room to pass the time till everyone was ready for breakfast. I decided to flip through the information brochures to see what was around worth seeing in Little Rock. While we were not planning on spending time sight seeing, I always think its good to know. Who knows, I may come back to Little Rock again.

Then there it was staring right at me - the Clinton connection. Little Rock, I knew is the capitol of Arkansas which means that Bill Clinton governed the state here. He was born close by in Hope, Arkansas. The city is now home to the William Clinton Presidential Park and Library. That was the bell ringing in my brain. My brain was ringing Bill Clinton, and I did not get it. It felt good to finally have that settled.

Biscuits and Gravy

Damn! The south maybe a bunch of racist confederates, but boy can they serve a good hearty breakfast. I've stayed at many hotels in the states, and I've delighted in many complimentary breakfast. It usually is the same - waffles, muffins, donuts, oatmeal and all the sweet delights I revel in. They don't stick to the usual in the south though. You have no idea how delighted I was at seeing hot biscuits and creamy savory gravy at the breakfast buffet. I piled my plate with biscuits and plenty of gravy. What more does one want in life? What better way than to start a day with biscuits and gravy? I wish I could find a southerner who will serve me biscuits and gravy on demand.

Rockfish Grill

Its been way too long and I seem to have erased most memories of who was driving by now. I think Sigmund Freud calls it repression or regression or something of that sort. So I apologize that I am unable to share some of the driving experiences of this leg of our journey.

What I can share is the grand and beautiful use of technology. I had downloaded the TripAdvisor application on my Droid before we set out from Madison. I put the application too good use as we approached Irving, TX. I looked up places to eat. Conveniently, we found a place just blocks down the road from the hotel where we would be staying at.

Rockfish Grill is a Texas seafood restaurant chain. They have a great selection of seafood at very reasonable prices. Seafood is expensive in the Midwest. We do have good fish here, but its usually freshwater fish like catfish and trout. Otherwise all seafood delights like crabs, lobsters, shrimp, clams, mussels, scallops are usually frozen and restaurant entrees super expensive. As someone who grew up on the coast, I often crave these delights. It might not be exiting to a coastie, but we really had a delicious seafood lunch at a great price at Rockfish Grill. I had scallops, my favorite.

Hyatt Residency Suites

The benefit of being Indian is that you have friends and relatives in every part of the globe. I'm sure that there is someone I know at the observation station in Antarctica. That is why despite having extensively, traveled I've not stayed at hotels much. Usually, we stay with relatives or friends. If there's no one else around, I'm a cheapskate who stays at hostels and seedy Econolodges. My family prefers quality budget hotels like Comfort Inn or something. I've never ever stayed at a suite in my life. They are far too expensive.

In Irving Texas we stayed at the Hyatt residency suites. It was my first suite life experience. My dad's cousin from India who is younger than me, that is my uncle who is younger than me (got to love Indian families) was working in Irving at the time. It was a one month assignment of some sorts. Through him and Goldman Sachs we were able to secure corporate discounts on a suite making it really affordable.

These suites are really nice. They are designed for long stays and you can literally live there. They have stoves, microwaves and all the nice things. They even have cocktail hours with hor d'oeuvre  during weekdays. They are elegantly designed and quite spacious really. Now I'm considering the Marriott Residence suites close to our place that were recently converted to condominiums. Maybe I should consider buying one of them. They are suite, I mean sweet. Our suites in Irving had lovely manicured gardens and the most beautiful Magnolia flowers and some weird sawdust like grass.

The Simple System

May 8th 2011 also marks the birth of my simplified family tracking system. It is so awesome that I should have it patented sometime soon. Unlike Americans who like to live like hermit crabs in a shell on their own personal islands, we Indians are very social and familial creatures. We have large families, large extended families, large extended families with relatives so removed and distant that they would crash the most sophisticated genealogy software while constructing the family tree. Somehow we even have names for unique relations, mama, bhanja, chacha, tauji, bua, fufa, navasa, jija, jeth, salha, and what not. I think we Konkanis have a dozen more thrown in just for fun.

It completely baffles me why we do this. So while my family tried to connect some family tree dots for me, I devised my simple system. I'm sure young Indians all across the globe will appreciate me for coming up with this simple system.

The system is based on some base relationships mother, father, daughter, son, sister, brother, husband, wife. These base relationships exist in any nuclear family. Perhaps in consideration for gay families I should replace husband and wife with spouse or partner. I'll stick with partner now, you will see why.

So we have the base symbols derived base relationships. Mo, Fa, Da, So, Si, Bro, Pa (or Hu, Wi). Partner has the vowels I need.

All relationships are expressed as an equation of these base symbols.

Your maternal grandfather simply becomes Mo+Fa = MoFa, and similarly your paternal grandfather is your FaFa. Your grandmothers are FaMo and MoMo.

Any relationship is the derivative of these base symbols. All you need to do is setup some simple equations and you're done. I derived that the uncle we visited in Irving was my FaMoBroSo. Its also more explanatory and explicit in relationship tracing. Uncle is so abstract and uninformative. FaMoBroSo can be broken down into the derivative equation Fa + Mo + Bro + So do determine the path of the relationship. The system is also limitless as you can add on as many degrees to the equations as you wish.

You could have a FaMoBroSoDaSoWiBroMoDaHuSoSo or whatever. Seems complex but just break down the sum to the derivative bases and trace the lineage. I should like get an Oscar for this. Its probably more Nobel material, but I'd really like an Oscar.

A Mall, A Dinner, & a Movie

My sister, myself and our FaMoBroSo spent some time at the Simon mall in Irving. The time was utilized to buy a hasty mother's day gift on the road. We got my mom and grandma some chocolate truffles, the fate of which you will hear about the next day. We saw a JC Penney Outlet store for the first time. I've not been to outlet malls, but it was tacky and kind of white trashy. Are all outlet malls like that?

For dinner we went to an Indian restaurant - Taj. Despite its regal name it was a kind of a dingy looking place with the most chaotic pager ordering system in the world that only Indian engineers could understand the logic of. On the bright side there was a wide choice of foods, it was ultra delicious and super cheap as well.

Have you ever heard of Indian Chinese? Indian Chinese involves dishes like Manchurian, Schezwan, Chili and Hakka noodles with a lot of Indian flavors and styles. The only meat dish is chicken, otherwise you get a variety of vegetarian choices like cauliflower, paneer or mixed vegetables. One notch above Indian Chinese is South Indian Chinese. Now south Indian foods have coconut curries, coconut chutneys, rice in the form of rice, idlis and dosas. You add Chinese to it and you get a whole new love child of culinary lovemaking. One such love child is a Chinese dosa. It takes our regular Masala dosa, tosses the regular potato stuffing and replaces it with a Chinese stuffing and makes you mouth go holy-moly. The railway station in my home town had one such place and the combinations you could get with Dosas and Chinese were exponentially out of this world. At Taj I had a Manchurian Dosa. Since it was a pure vegetarian restaurant, so it was made with anonymous vegetable balls. It was delicious.

My dad also ordered the Falooda which is a sweet drink with rose syrup, creamy sweet milk and tapioca pearls. The God's recipe for Ambrosia is just the falooda.

We capped the night with a viewing of new release Thor. I was shocked at the number of Texans who watch movies on a Sunday night leading us to crappy seats. Clearly, they don't have much to do like we do in Madison. I already knew plenty about Norse myth. However, I learned a lot about the Einstein-Rosen Bridge. Movies can be educational you know.

I'd talk more about Thor, but you can hit up the reviews or watch the flick or just read a book on Norse myth. It was a relief to see Natalie Portman with a deserving hottie after Your Highness. I'm still waiting for the day when they will have Natalie Portman make out with Kiera Knightley.

No comments: