What would RTH do?

That is the question.

If I were in a highschool yearbook, they would vote me most likely to die of a lynch mob. That does not prevent me from opening my mouth and serving a warm hearty cup of STFU to people who deserve it. My dark scathing humor will leave no matter of existence untouched. My innocence will touch your soul.

Welcome to a warped world turned inside out and upside down. All sorts of discretion advised.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

I'm a twitterer now

I have always joked:
Democrats tweet
Republicans use the twitter
Sarah Palin is a twitterer

Honestly, it was quite unfair of me to make a joke like that. For truth be told I don't know how to use twitter. I've always heard tales of humorous and tragically humorous celebrity tweets. I've seen people on FB flail and writhe like a shoal of fish washed ashore. However, I've never actually used twitter or understood what it does or how it works or why people use it.

Wikipedia says Twitter is a microblogging site. You post tiny messages that are 140 characters long. It seems like an alien concept to me. Usually if I have something to say, I blog about it. I can update my Facebook status if it is a brief blurb. Apparently twitter lets you converse though - but so does Facebook and any chat application.

But with so many billions of users and a twitter anthology of every tweet in history purchased and archived by the library of congress, I guess twitter is somewhat important. Every celebrity, every show, every politician and every corporation is on twitter. Heck even their pet dogs and left legs are on twitter. Even the President held a twitter town hall. I've been the only one living under a rock, screaming, I don't understand the twitter, whats all the twittering about?

My days under the rock are over now. After considerable peer pressure, I've succumbed to the tweet monster. I've made a twitter account. I still don't know how to use twitter, but hey I knew how to make this fancy widget in the left bar that lets you follow me on twitter. I don't know what to say other than #gaysharks here I come! I'm a twitterer now. I don't know how to tweet. But just like Palin I'm going to be a twitterer and you can't repudiate that.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Total Eclipse of the Heart

The last time I saw a solar eclipse was, gosh God knows when. I have not seen a solar eclipse since I moved here from India. There has been no eclipse visible in the United States for like eons. India has had several solar eclipses since. Each and every time I have enviously watched the news clips, videos and photos documenting the stunning eclipse. Solar eclipses are simply awe inspiring and beautiful. Now that I think of it, they are even more spectacular than thunder snow or tornabow. They may not be as rare, but as a natural phenomenon they are just magnificent.

I frequently check the eclipse calender to see when the next one in my area will be. When I found out the next annular eclipse will be on May 20th 2012, I was ecstatic. I was disappointed to find out that Madison, WI will not witness the breathtaking ring of fire that the annular eclipse promises. However, I took solace in the fact that I will at least get to see a partial eclipse. Something is better than nothing. Moreover, most of India will not see the eclipse at all. There was that evil pleasure of finally experiencing something the folks back at home wouldn't.

At first I was freaked out and desperate. I could not find my local viewing times for the eclipse at all. The NASA pdf was down due to excessive traffic. Then someone suggested that I download and install the i-tunes Application - Solar Eclipse 2012. I immediately opened up i-tunes and downloaded it - only to find that the application only works with i-phone or i-pod touch. Sadly, I only have a nano. Then I did some calculations to convert the UTC to local time which gave me 3:56 PM. So I finished all my chores and mowed the lawn, well in time for the spectacle. By 4:15 I realized nothing was happening.

Finally, I realized my dad has an i-pod touch. I borrowed it from him. I downloaded the application and found the local timings and ran the simulation. The moon would slowly creep in around 7:20 PM and go on shielding the sun partially until 8:15 PM or so. That was plenty of time to view it and it would be awesome.

When time came, the skies were clear the sun was bright and shining, but the shadowing was barely there. These things take time, I was patient, there would be plenty of time. Then the sun hid behind the trees. So I ran upstairs to the upper bedroom window which has a lovely west facing window. I caught one glimpse of the sun before the trees obscured it again.

Determined to watch this, I quickly wore my sandals and stepped out. I would walk towards the park, perhaps the park will give me a better view. There is a small hillock in the park I could climb. I'd seen some nice sunsets from that vantage point. The path meanders slightly uphill and I had a few momentary glimpses of the sun without trees. I saw a sliver of darkness, like a tiny thumbnail just creeping in. Then the sun dipped lower into the trees. I walked hastily towards the hillock. It was not mowed yet and growing wild. I walked through blades of grass tall as my waist, sprawling up my legs and shorts. I walked through prickly weeds grazing my legs to the top of the hillock. The sun kept dipping. Time was running out. My heart beat and I panicked wondering if I made a wrong decision. Perhaps I should have gone in the other direction. High point hill goes higher and has a much more clear westerly view. Desperately I climbed onto a fallen tree, precariously taking care not to fall over onto the barbed fence on the other side separating the park from farmland.

Then clouds.

The sun dipped behind clouds. Big black clouds. In fact it was a big thundering wall of dark clouds obscuring the sun. I paced up and down the park with no avail. The clouds had completely cloaked the sun. It wouldn't have mattered if I had gone up High point hill, the clouds would have still blocked it.

I came home defeated. It was like having loved and lost. Like going on an adventure to the end of the earth for your beloved, only to come back empty handed. I didn't see the eclipse, but gloom eclipsed my heart. Ah the melancholy! I smiled wryly to myself and whispered "Clouds get the fuck out" remembering the boy at Christ the Redeemer on that foggy day. We at least saw Christ the Redeemer that day. But today I had lost.

Now, I have to wait until October 2014 to see one in USA. Perhaps I could travel to Australia for the next two or West Africa for the total eclipse on November 3, 2013. August 2017 eclipse has the highest point close to my neck of the woods. All left to do now is hope and wait I guess.