For the past week I have been sleeping on my couch.
No, there isn't anyone who can kick me out of the bedroom. Nor am I stuck with a broken bed awaiting a new one. My queen bed has been just laying empty these days.
So then why am I sleeping on the couch?
My reasons are stunningly childish and innocent.
The world is a humongous place. The universe is so much more bigger. I feel so small and insignificant in front of existence. Moreover, I don't know why I exist and for what purpose. Honestly, I couldn't even answer who am I.
I stand at the crossroads of life, but rather than roads and opportunities I see an endless abyss. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or where I'm supposed to go. I'm graduating in a few weeks and I still have not figured out anything about the future. I'm nothing but the deer dazed in the headlights. I'm nothing but the lost little puppy dog whimpering for home.
Everyday that passes, I just feel smaller and smaller and smaller in front of the infinity of life, the universe and everything.
But on the couch, it feels different. On my couch, I am too big for my breeches; both literally and figuratively. Despite my midget height, my legs stick out over the edge. I curl up in awkward positions fitting into something too small for me to sleep in. It doesn't feel uncomfortable at all. In fact it rather feels safe and exceptionally comforting.
My bed is too big. There is too much room on there. So much room that it feels like it is being engulfed by the endless universe. On my couch the world feels miraculously compressed to its dimensions. This is my personal space in the world where I don't feel small or insignificant. On my couch I feel grand, almighty and powerful. On my couch I feel like the king of my castle. On my couch is where my dreams are fueled. On my couch is where even when I'm awake I merrily drift into my own Never Neverland. On my couch is where I never grow up and remain an eternal child. In this whole wide world where I will fall ceaselessly, my couch is the only place that wants to hold and comfort me.
I guess I can't sleep on the couch forever (or could I?). I'm not sure. But I think I'm going to be on my couch, till I am a grown up again.